It has been quite some time since I last posted. The surgery was much longer than expected, Mike tells me I was on the table for 9.5 hours. All I remember is looking at the clock before they put me out, it was 6:00 am and when I was able to focus on the clock again it was 6:30 pm. The only thing positive I can say about this last experience is , it's over. Wow, I knew it was bad but never expected this. I am so sore all over, even the roof of my mouth is bruised. But I am on the uphill swing, I can feel myself feeling stronger each day. I think the recuperation time would have been easier if I was not coming out of a year of cancer treatment, and my immune system is so hammered. We knew it would take longer than the typical case before I went into this.

I needed to postpone my PET/CT scan this week, so they rescheduled it for next week, I am positive it will come back clear. I will need to keep my life stress free in order to stay cancer free. I am so looking forward to getting some normalcy back into my life.

Can you tell we are getting a bit nervous?

Yup.. beneath the cool exterior lurks a quivering scaredy cat....

You would think I would be getting used to this but I think each time it gets harder to go under the knife. We saved the worst surgery for last. (well next to last).

Trying not to think too much about tomorrow. And trying to remember all I need to take to the hospital and things that need to get done here, before the fun begins, is defiantly not my idea of relaxation.

Ohmmmmmmm chanting is not helping either.

I cannot believe it has been 2 weeks since I last posted. It has been a long 2 weeks. We went to Philadelphia to see the surgeon and get scheduled for my surgery (pyloplasty). The surgery should last around 8 hours, and I will be hospitalized for 3 to 5 days. So woo hoo another great adventure for Mike and I. I think it is easier to be the one going under the knife rather than the one having to wait in the waiting room. I get to sleep through the whole thing. The fun will begin on tuesday with the pre-op prep, then off to Philadelphia on Wednesday.

So here is the positive side, with Gods protection this will be the last surgery, and I can be on my way to starting to feel strong and healthy. It has been so long since I have felt healthy, I can only faintly remember.

Here are some of the things I am looking forward to:



Eat a good meal without nausea,




Be able to stand without back pain,










Exercise,









Go for walks,







But Most of All LAUGH

Oncologist

Yesterday we went to see the oncologist. I had quite a few questions, on the maintenance of my Cancer. He did say it will take 3 to 6 months for all the side effects from the treatment to subside. They are scheduling me for a PET scan, I am not sure when that will be, but I do not want to celebrate too much until I get a clean scan. I was very happy to think I don't need to go to the Oncologist for 3 months.

So its the weekend! Raining and a good day!!!

I am a SURVIVOR!!

Last Day!!!!

Today has finally come. I sometimes thought I might never make it through the treatment. But woo hoo it is over. I have another surgery this morning, (stent removal) I am so looking forward to being able to walk again without pain. Maybe now I can focus on getting some muscle tone back. (Before my big surgery in Philadelphia) . I am not sure when that will be so right now I am savoring the completion of my treatment. I still have one more injection this afternoon. And then I will ask you all to say a prayer of thanks.

Off to the hospital!

142 over.......2 more

Did I ever think this week would get here?

It has been the longest year of our lives, I sometimes think of how much worse this cancer could have been. People with stage 4 Melanoma usually don't make it. I have been so blessed, I know I have had a miracle and a whole legion of Angles in my corner. God has been so kind to us. I have so many people that have given me such support and encouragement, without all of you this journey would have been so much more difficult.
So to my God, Thank you! To my husband Mike, thank you! To my family, thank you! To my neighbors, thank you! To my friends and co-workers, thank you! To my Cancer com padres Marsha/Jackie and Chris. All of my doctors, surgeons, oncology nurses, thank you!


I hate naming names because you always miss people and I can't be held accountable, I am still suffering the side effects of the Cancer drug. But you know who you are and my heart is so full of Love and gratitude! Your prayers and encouragement have meant more to me than you know.


The end of this journey is almost here. 142 down ....2 to go

136, 137, 138.................almost there!!

Can you believe it? Only 2 weeks to go! I am wondering what it will feel like to be "normal" No fatigue, body aches, headaches, nausea, fevers. And maybe to get a full nights sleep. Wow it has been so long. I was looking back, I started my infusions back on August 18th.

I was telling Mike how some years in your life seems to get lost in each other. But others are monumental and I have to say this has been one of the monumental ones!

138 down.........6 to go!

133, 134, 135........almost....almost.....there

Today is the end of my 45th week, you know what that means? 3 left!!!! I cannot believe how slow the time is passing. I feel like life has stood still during this past year. It has been more of existing, not living. But there is finally an end in sight.

I have learned so much through this fight with Cancer. Even though we think we are in control, over our lives, health and finances. We have no power over our existence. God has total power over everything, He is the creator of all that is known to man. Every thing we see and can dream of.

All and all this Cancer has been a blessing, without facing my own mortality, I would have never discovered what is truly important. I heard a speaker talking about our existence on this earth. He said picture 80 grains of sand - this represents our years on this earth. We strive to make those 80 grains happy, comfortable and prosperous. Without regard to anyone or anything, yet we forget the ocean full of sand that represents the rest of eternity. We need to think about the ocean full of sand rather than the small handful of 80 grains we tend to cherish above all else.

135 down...................9 to go

130, 131, 132.....can almost touch completion

But you know what they say....almost only counts horseshoes and hand grenades. So I am still not done....it is getting closer.
Last week was a bit difficult, after working only 3 days at work and side effect days at home for 9 months, I started working all 5 days at work. I knew it would be a little difficult to get back into the swing of things, but with the strength of God and a good husband that makes sure I get to bed early enough. I made it through the week. I know it will get easier as time goes on.
132 down.....only 12 to go!!!!!

127, 128, 129......getting closer

Well this last week came and went and that means one more week closer to being finished. I went to my Oncologist Thursday. I am doing pretty well, still a bit of anemia, but I have had that all along. Thank goodness for Mike, he keeps things going around the house so I don't feel too tired.
Just when I think things could never get worse and start feeling sorry for myself, I meet someone else with more troubles than myself. Then I realize just how blessed we are. I know this sounds crazy, but I am so blessed to have gotten Cancer. I have learned so much about God and myself and what is truly important in life. I think we put much too much emphasis on stuff and forget to appreciate the true blessings.
Well I have 5 more weeks and then well I might just celebrate with feeling normal again. Hooray!
129 down........15 to go!